SHOWCASE OF STUDENT WORK

CINQUAINS

    A cinquain is a form poem that consists of five lines.  There are numerous types of cinquains, but students focused on one specific format.  The format was:

Noun

Adjective, adjective

Verb(ing), verb(ing), verb(ing)

A four word phrase

Noun

    This mini-unit on cinquains serves many purposes.  It reinforces the concept of "distillation" introduced during the two-word-poem mini-unit.  It also emphasizes the idea that a word can contribute to the overall effectiveness of a piece of writing on many levels.  Furthermore, in terms of preparation for the unit on essay writing second semester, it helps students gain more experience working with critical concepts such as unity, coherence, and development, as well as with topic and thesis.  

    In essence, Line 1 serves as the Introduction, letting the reader know the topic of the poem, Lines 2 - 4 serve as the Body, and Line 5 functions as the Conclusion with the final noun basically being the main point or thesis.  The students' primary goal is to capture the essence of the topic from their point of view.  

    Students' poems were assessed on 10 criteria, including: clarity; unity; coherence; development; tone; images; mood words; sound (alliteration, assonance, consonance, and rhyme); creativity; and, form.  Students were reminded that style (images, mood words, and sound) should enhance substance, not replace it.  In other words, clarity, unity, coherence, and development were the primary concerns.  

    The two adjectives in Line 2 must describe the noun, and they should work well together (unity). They should also be presented in logical order (coherence).  The three "ing" verbs in Line 3 must all be actions of the verb, or all three must be reactions to the verb (unity).  Again, they should also be in proper order (coherence).  Additionally, everything in Lines 2-4 must relate to the topic in Line 1 (unity) and the thesis in Line 5 (unity).  Perhaps most difficult, Line 3 must logically follow Line 2 (coherence), Line 4 must logically follow Line 3 (coherence), and Line 5 must logically follow Lines 2, 3, and 4 (coherence).  Finally, there should be no wasted words or redundancy anywhere in the poem (development).  

    You will find 11 student cinquains below.  Copies of these cinquains (with accompanying visual images) are displayed on the bulletin board outside the library on the second floor of the Middle School .

Television

Tedious, torturous

Driveling, droning, draining

Cycle of sickening sitcoms

Contempt

Pink

Playful, joyful

Chatting, flattering, flirting

Little girls' tea parties

Finesse

Lucy (Lucille Ball)

Vivacious, audacious

Imitating, irritating, intimidating

Queen of classic television

Comedy

9/11

Dreadful, despicable

Crashing, crumbling, crying

Sharp pain of uncertainty

Shock

Rainforest

Vivid, vivacious

Singing, scurrying, slithering

Exquisite, exotic, diverse display

Splendor

Time

Perpetual, powerful

Blending, bending, mending

Merging memories with life

Stories

Christmas

Joyous, glorious

Socializing, singing, savoring

Special gift of unity

Celebration

"Simpsons"

Witty, whimsical

Provoking, choking, joking

Sarcastic view of society

Satire

"Rocky Horror"

Eccentric, esoteric

Flinging, screeching, dancing

Rules remain ruthlessly rejected

Cult

Smile

Vivacious, contagious

Enchanting, enticing, enriching

Radiant glow of joy

Inspiration

Chocolate

Delicious, delightful

Craving, indulging, devouring

Irresistible, enticing, divine delicacy

Ecstasy

Jack (My Dog)

Furry, funny

Wagging, waddling, wandering

Rambunctious, ravenous vacuum cleaner

Jester

Lies

Malicious, malignant

Scheming, stalking, stabbing

Satan's stealthy, sinister servants

Demons

Celery

Stringy, bitter

Groaning, grimacing, gagging

Tastes like horrid medicine

Garbage

TWO-WORD POEMS

   This particular exercise/assignment has many goals.  Each objective is valuable in and of itself.  Collectively, this assignment benefits students in a variety of ways.

    One is to give students a better understanding of the concept of "distillation."  The underlying idea is that poetry often involves a process of purification ("distillation") in which the writer eliminates everything that is not essential.  In other words, the poem contains only the "essence" of what the writer wants to say about the topic.  Each of these two word-poems represents this process.  Each first line of one word followed by a question mark is actually a distillation of a question.  The second line, which consists of a single word followed by an exclamation mark, represents a response to the question.  For example, the first line of the poem "Achieve?/Believe!" might represent the question, "What does someone need in order to accomplish a goal?" The second line, "Believe!" might mean that one needs self-confidence, faith in one's ability, in order to accomplish his or her goal.  Instead of using 20 or 25 words to express this idea, however, the poem eliminates all but the most essential words, thereby distilling the idea to two critical words.

    A second goal of this mini-unit is to demonstrate that the goal of interpretation is not necessarily "correctness" but rather "coherence."  I want students' interpretations to be logical; whether or not they are "right" is not nearly as important and in many cases is irrelevant.  For example, in the previous model ("Achieve?/Believe!") the poet may have intended the second line to mean that if one "believes" in what one is trying to accomplish, he or she is more likely to "achieve" that goal.  That intended meaning would make the interpretation that the second line means that one should "believe" in oneself "incorrect," but so what?  That interpretation is still coherent.

    Additionally, I want students to think in different ways when trying to analyze meaning.  In each two-word poem there should be a logical connection between the two lines, most likely a cause-and-effect relationship.  For example, in "Achieve?/Believe!" both previous interpretations would view the second line ("Believe!") as the cause and the first line ("Achieve") as the result or effect.  In other words, if one believes, one can achieve.  However, it is also possible to reverse the situation.  It is possible that the first line, instead of being a distillation of the question, "What does one need in order to achieve?" could be, "What is the impact or outcome after someone achieves something?"  It is then plausible that the second line is a distillation of the idea that one gains greater confidence or belief in one's ability after achieving something.  In this scenario "Believe" becomes the cause and "Achieve" is the effect, the opposite of the relationship in the two previous analyses.

    The final goal of this mini-unit is to continue preparing students to write effective, quality essays.  Toward that end we identify the first line of these poems as the "topic" so that the the model poem is about achieving or achievement.  The second line, or reply, represents the main point or "thesis" the poet is trying to make about the topic.  I want students to become familiar with these terms and comfortable using them in rather simple frameworks before they apply them to more sophisticated, more challenging compositions.

    Here are 22 of the students' two-word poems that I found either clever, insightful, or thought-provoking.  Students in class read their classmates' poems without the benefit of seeing their written explanation.  They then tried to interpret the meaning of each poem.  Finally, they were able to compare their interpretation to the poet's intended meaning.  If you decide to try to interpret these two-word poems, see if you can come up with more than one possible idea for each.

Exam?/Cram!

Cheat?/Defeat!

Desire?/Acquire!

Depression?/Expression!

Humiliation?/Devastation!

Kiss?/Bliss!

Admire?/Inspire!

Illusion?/Confusion!

Gamble?/Shamble!

Miss?/Reminisce!

Abused?/Confused!

Obsess?/Suppress!

Sleep?/Sheep!

Smash?/Dash!

Ill?/Pill!

Cafeteria?/Bacteria!

Suppression?/ Depression!

Sweet?/Treat!

Perception?/Deception!

Wise?/Organize!

Worm?/Squirm!

Life?/Strife!

"TO POEMS"

    What I refer to as "To Poems" are simply free verse compositions written to someone or something.  If they were written as prose, they could easily become letters.  

    The impetus for this assignment was Langston Hughes' poem "Mother to Son," in which a mother talks about her life, then gives her son advice: never to give up no matter how difficult his challenges become.  "So, boy, don't you turn back,/Don't you set down on the steps/'Cause you finds it kinder hard."

    Students also examined  approximately a dozen "To Poems" written by previous eighth graders in order to see a variety of subjects and approaches.  Students discussed these models in terms of the 10 criteria on which they were evaluated.

    The criteria for the "To Poems" included: clarity, thesis (main point), unity, coherence, development, tone, images, mood words, sound (alliteration, assonance, consonance, and rhyme), and the use of a simile or metaphor, which can then be extended.

    Below you will find 15 of the "To Poems" written by the eighth grade English class of 2001-02.  The maximum word limit for each poem was 75 words.

To Phil (My Brother)

My friend,

My former partner in crime,

Prowling our vast backyard,

Soaring to tops of towering trees,

We never looked back.

Laughing,

Learning,

Living in our own little world,

We were inseparable.

But our lives have changed:

School,

Sports,

Friends

Are now of primary importance.

Constantly bickering,

Silently glaring,

We've watched our friendship slip away,

Like a forgotten photograph,

Fading,

Until nothing remains...

But magnificent memories.

To a Homeless Person

As you sit in icy subway stations,

People push past you,

Ignoring your pleas

For generosity

And warmth.

You become a ghost:

No one sees your frigid face

Filled with pain,

Shame,

Hunger.

They are deaf to your despair.

Ironically,

Some day their selfishness

May haunt them.

To Great-Uncle Tom*

Engulfed by your own, internal war -

Screaming,

Moaning,

Bleeding,

Bullets slicing your skin,

You kept battling.

Your fingers bent,

Legs smashed,

Feet crushed,

Back cracked,

Still, 

Somehow,

You managed to smile.

*My great uncle died three years ago at the age of 70 from a number of diseases.

To Teachers

I hear kids mimicking,

    Mocking,

Maligning you.

I do it, too.

But really,

We admire you.

Yet because of the prison of peer pressure

We fail to show our appreciation

For your teaching,

Your preaching.

Without you

We wouldn't be ready

For the cruel world.

We owe you our gratitude

To An Arrogant Friend

Walking,

Stalking,

Striving for greatness -

You failed miserably.

You're too proud,

Too consumed by conceit.

Honor, 

Trust, 

Friendship

Have all stumbled,

Staggered

To second string.

That malicious, monster of arrogance

With its menacing, malevolent talons

Claw your world.

This boastful beast

Has beaten you down,

But it's not too late for you

To destroy this demon.

To My Worries

Always with me,

It seems you never leave.

At night

You invade my mind

Like a sinister spirit,

Waiting for that magic moment

To abuse your innocent victim...

Me.

You plague me with unnecessary anxiety;

You leave me lying

Restlessly awake in the dark,

Haunting me,

Taunting me,

Torturing me.

I just wish

You would leave me alone.

To My Former Self

My faded memories of you

Are hazy; 

You're like a sunset,

Slowly slipping toward dusk.

You were so pure,

So peaceful,

Never cheating

Or deceiving,

But your rare radiance 

Has been dimmed,

Tainted.

I long for you

To rise again.

To My Computer

Do what I say,

You stubborn child.

Instead of squabbling over who's wrong

And who's right,

Agree with me;

Quit your horrendous humming; 

Quit freezing in fury.

Give me a break,

You manmade, malevolent, mechanical monster.

Strolling along huge, "super" highways

Of specific circuitry,

You ignore my crucial commands

Which seem to whiz past your bytes

Of frequently bumbling brilliance.

I am peeved by your presence,

You hopeless hunk

Of human genius.

To Satan

Bearer of eternal, brutal burning,

Like a dreadful, deadly disease,

You lurk inside of me,

Make me weary,

Weak.

You enter my sacred soul,

Break down all virtue,

Turn it to evil

And force me to do something

I soon regret.

You turn me against my own will,

But I have faith

In God's forgiveness.

To A Gremlin

You are a cuddly cub,

Furry friend of all,

Peaceful pet,

A partner,

Yet when the essence of life*

Falls upon you,

You become a growling ghoul,

Revealing your scary secret.

Maliciously minding

No one other than yourself,

You become a ferocious bear,

Terrorizing,

Torturing,

Ultimately destroying bewildered victims

Blinded by your beauty.

* The phrase "essence of life" refers to water.

To Sleeping Beauty

You were laid to rest,

Entrapped by the power of evil,

After painfully pricking yourself

On a spinning wheel of sudden death,

Only to be awakened

By love's first kiss.

I wonder what it was like

To have your future forsaken,

Your life lingering in someone else's hands.

Like a pleading, needy newborn,

You were so helpless,

Weak,

Reliant,

Hoping someone would slay the dreadful dragon,

So you could rise again.

To Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Like a lion -

Valiant,

Wise,

Strong,

You led your pride

Across the raging river,

Finally making it to the other side.

Though white waves pulled,

Prodded,

Pressed you,

You never gave up.

Now, "Negroes" are free,

Our colored culture crippled no longer.

You had a dream

Which has now come true.

I wonder if you would be

Proud of us.

To Fear

You creep in at night,

Sneaking up on unsuspecting children.

Like a fire,

You scorch their souls,

Switching sweet dreams

Of faraway lands

With bright blue skies

And wispy white clouds

To nightmares of malicious monsters

Hiding in a closet,

Waiting to swoop down

And sweep them into their ruthless arms,

Then hauling them away.

You are truly

The Devil's tool.

To Katherine*

I miss your ginger eyes,

Your gentle voice,

Your optimism.

Your stunning smile

Left an inspiring memory

In my soul.

You were the song of the mockingbird,

Uplifting and unforgotten.

I still remember that lonesome day

You came to school -

Wounded,

Weakened,

Worried. 

You told me how terrified you were,

How hurt.

We wept together.

Years later

My heart is still soaked

With your vulnerable tears.

*Katherine was my best friend in fourth grade. She was beaten by her father, and her mother died when she was eight. She was sent to an orphanage. I never saw her again.

To My Old Pair of Shoes

You were miners,

Forced to labor from dawn to dusk.

The years of tedious toil

In perilous weather

Stole your sparkling splendor.

Your surfaces,

Once exquisite,

Elegant,

Are now smeared with crude, cracked slush

And sludge,

So unlike that stylish pair

I bought long ago.

Still,

Though your smooth, soft leather

Has faded,

Your tireless efforts

Will never be forgotten.